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‘Wait there. I’ll see if I can get her back,’ Mr Jamieson said, quickly following.
After he’d gone, Mum and I sat in shocked silence for a few moments. Mum had tears in her eyes.
‘Oh, Mum.’ I leaned across and put my arm around her.
After what seemed like forever, but was only about five minutes, Mr Jamieson finally came back. ‘I’m afraid she’s left the school,’ he told us with a worried frown. ‘She went out through the main gate. Hopefully she’s on her way home.’
‘I’d better go back and wait for her, then,’ Mum said. ‘I’ll call social services to fill them in.’ She met my gaze and gave me a little smile. ‘Well, Poppy,’ she said in a weak attempt at a joke, ‘I guess this means the honeymoon period’s over!’
Chapter Twenty-One
At home time all I knew was that I had to speak to Josh.
I texted him as I walked across the playground, but got no reply. Then I spotted him walking slowly out through the gates a short distance ahead of me, talking on his phone. As I caught up with him and waited for his conversation to end, I quickly picked up that he was speaking to Sean.
‘How is he?’ I asked after he’d finished the call.
‘Nothing’s broken, apparently. His mum’s feeding him some soup and some painkillers the doctor prescribed and tucking him up in bed as we speak.’
‘So he’s OK?’
‘Well, he’s pretty upset about what happened. He says his mum and Leo are really angry with him for eavesdropping, never mind for blurting out what he overheard. Leo’s got to go and see Mr Jamieson after school. How much further it goes will depend a bit on Sadie, I guess.’ He paused. ‘Leo’s told Sean he has to keep away from Sadie in future – and he doesn’t want him hanging out with her or you outside of school.’
I gulped. ‘Me?’ I hadn’t seen that one coming.
‘Yeah … Leo says you and Sadie are like sisters now and that Sean can’t avoid her if he’s still seeing you.’
‘We are not like sisters!’
‘Well, that’s how Leo sees it, apparently. He knew the four of us were planning to go bowling together. That’s never going to happen now, obviously.’
‘Right …’ I felt stunned.
‘You sound almost as disappointed as Sean,’ Josh said in a teasing voice. He grinned. ‘You do know that he fancies you, right?’
‘Huh?’ For a moment I wondered if I’d heard him correctly.
‘You’re on his Top Five Cutest Girls list.’
‘Josh, don’t be stupid!’ I declared, scowling at him.
‘I’m dead serious, Poppy! He asked me if I thought you’d go out with him.’
I just gaped at him. Mind you, I couldn’t deny the flutter of excitement I felt as well.
‘So would you?’ Josh prompted me.
Would I? I really liked Sean, and I suppose I’d have to admit that I was enjoying his company more and more. But did I fancy him? Did I want to go out with him?
‘That depends …’ I looked at Josh carefully, trying to work out what he thought about me dating his best friend. I was remembering what Anne-Marie had said about how you can’t have a boyfriend and have a boy as your best friend because the two of them will get jealous of each other.
I didn’t ask Josh what he thought about that because it was too embarrassing. But I did remind myself that no way was Anne-Marie always right about stuff like this.
Sadie wasn’t back when I got home and Mum was starting to worry.
‘Maybe we should go out and look for her,’ she said.
‘Where would we look, Mum? She could be anywhere. Just wait and she’ll come back.’
Mum phoned Lenny, who said to give it a bit longer before we started worrying because Sadie had gone off on her own a lot of times before and so far she’d always returned the same day.
‘I think I’ll try her phone again,’ Mum said after another half hour had gone by.
‘I expect it’s still switched off,’ I warned her.
Mum tried it anyway and I was right.
I made her a cup of tea and got her to sit down. She refused the chocolate biscuits I put in front of her, which I knew meant she must be really nervous. When Mum’s feeling upset she comfort eats like mad. It’s only when she’s truly scared about something that she can’t eat anything. She can’t sit still then either and she fidgets a lot like she was doing now.
‘Mum, can I ask you something?’ I said, thinking now was as good a time as any to bring this up.
‘Of course.’
‘What if you found out that you couldn’t manage to look after both me and Sadie? Would you want me to go and live with Dad?’ I hoped she wouldn’t get upset with me for asking. I just needed to know the truth. Or rather, I needed to hear that if it ever came to a choice between Sadie and me, then she would choose me, no matter how many alternative homes I had available to me.
‘What?’ She was clearly taken aback by my question. ‘Poppy, I can’t imagine why you’d think you needed to ask that. I’d never want you to live full-time with your father instead of with me.’
‘But what if me and Sadie don’t ever get along? She’s got nowhere else to go, has she? I have.’
‘Poppy, you’re my daughter! I would never take in another child if it meant that I couldn’t keep you!’
‘Not even Sadie?’
‘Of course not even Sadie.’
‘Oh.’ I gave her a relieved smile. The way she said it left me in no doubt that she was speaking the truth.
But she clearly felt that she needed to say more. ‘Poppy, you are my only child and my greatest gift and you must never forget that!’ Then she added, ‘But I see all the children we look after as gifts, no matter where they’ve come from or how long we get to keep them. You realise that, don’t you?’
‘Of course, Mum.’ I understood what she was telling me. Yes, I was her only ‘forever’ child, which gave me the priority. But that didn’t mean that all the children we fostered meant nothing to her.
Mum said solemnly, ‘I see Sadie as a very special gift – and not one to be given up lightly.’
Not as lightly as you gave up Amy. The thought just popped into my head out of nowhere. Stop it, I told myself. This isn’t about Amy. The Amy discussion can wait for another day.
‘Maybe we should go out and look for Sadie,’ I murmured. It was hard for me to view Sadie as a gift, but I realised even I was starting to worry a bit about where she had got to.
But it turned out we didn’t have to look, because right at that moment our ‘gift’ came walking back in through the front door.
‘I’m really tired and I’m going to lie down,’ she said in a very quiet, very reasonable voice.
‘Sadie, we need to talk about what happened at school today,’ Mum said anxiously. ‘Where did you go to? I was so worried!’
‘I’ve just been walking around,’ she said, avoiding eye contact with Mum. ‘Listen, I’ve got a headache. We can talk later, right?’ She went straight upstairs.
Mum still looked worried but she told me to take Sadie some paracetamol for her headache, while she phoned Lenny to let her know Sadie was back safely.
I walked into Sadie’s room without bothering to knock and caught her texting. ‘Who’s that?’ I asked.
‘None of your business.’ She quickly put down her phone where I couldn’t see it. ‘What’s that?’
‘Pills for your headache.’
‘I don’t need them.’
‘I know. Cos you don’t really have a headache, do you?’ When she didn’t say anything I added in as reasonable a voice as I could manage, ‘I bet Sean has one hell of a headache. Why did you have to punch him, Sadie? He hadn’t told a soul what he overheard about your dad.’
At least she had the decency to look a bit guilty. ‘Yeah, well, I’m sorry, OK? I have this problem with my anger. That’s one of the reasons I’ve been seeing Mrs Thomson … and I’m meant to count to ten and take deep breaths and stuff, bu
t it’s hard when people wind me up about my dad. I just see red.’
‘Sean’s not allowed to see either of us any more – you or me! Josh just told me.’
‘Oops.’
OOPS? Was that really all she could think of to say?
‘Sorry. Still … it’ll just make your little romance all the more fun, won’t it? You and Sean will just have to see each other in secret – like Romeo and Juliet.’
‘Sadie, have you even seen that play? It’s got the most tragic ending ever!’
‘Has it? The only bit I know is where Juliet’s on the balcony going “Romeo, Romeo, where the hell are you?” ’ She giggled.
What was wrong with her?
‘Sadie, you are so annoying,’ I burst out, losing my fight to stay calm. ‘And what have you got against Sean? Even before you punched him, what you said to Anne-Marie about his dad was really horrible. It’s like you think you’re the only one who deserves sympathy!’
She had stopped giggling. ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’
‘You said it wasn’t sad that his dad died!’
‘I said it wasn’t that sad! And it’s not! I mean, at least his dad didn’t choose to go off and leave him, did he?’
‘Neither did yours!’
‘No, but she did! She even wrote and said we should think of her as dead! But she wasn’t dead! If she was, it wouldn’t have been so bad!’ Suddenly there were tears in her eyes.
‘Sadie –’ I hadn’t realised until then which parent she’d been thinking about. ‘Sadie …’ But I couldn’t think of anything to say.
‘Just go away and leave me alone!’ she snapped. Her phone beeped as a text came through, and she promptly jumped up and shoved me out of her room.
I couldn’t stop thinking about what Sadie had just said. It was true that if her mum had died then at least she’d have a story to tell that would earn her some sympathy. Instead she was too ashamed of what her mum had done to want to tell anyone about it. I understood now why she was so angry all the time. In fact, if I was her, then I’m pretty sure I’d be permanently angry too.
No wonder she felt abandoned all over again by her dad, and that she didn’t really trust Mum yet, even though it sometimes seemed like she was trying to. And no wonder she was so short on sympathy for other people, especially people whose parents (or step-parents) clearly cared about them.
And I could totally see why she had befriended Alison – the one person who had been through something similar and really understood what she was going through.
I went to sleep that night thinking about what it must be like to actually be Sadie, and those were not happy thoughts at all.
Chapter Twenty-Two
The next two days of school passed in a bit of a haze while Sadie was suspended. Then came Thursday. It was Sadie’s last day at home, and that afternoon Mum was bringing her in to a meeting with Mr Jamieson and Mrs Thomson. Her social worker was also going to be there. By that time Sadie had apologised to Sean and she had also dropped her complaint against Mr Anderson, thank goodness.
Anyway, straight after lunch we had English, and I thought I heard a few sniggers as I walked in. I looked sharply at Julia and Katy, who as usual were the ones laughing at me. Anne-Marie says they’re just jealous because I’m friends with Josh, but I’m not so sure that’s all it is. Though it’s true Katy once asked me to ask Josh if he fancied her, and she hadn’t been too chuffed when I’d had to report back that he didn’t.
Mr Anderson was sitting at his desk reading a letter. As I walked past him I saw a pink envelope with hearts drawn on it lying open in front of him. I was curious, but I resisted the urge to try and get a closer look.
As I went to sit down, Evie Pennycook, who sits right at the front, asked, ‘Who’s your letter from, Mr Anderson?’ which made a couple of the others start sniggering.
Our teacher ignored her as he folded the letter and replaced it in the envelope before putting it away and clapping his hands for silence. ‘OK, let’s get started, shall we?’
He had written some questions up on the whiteboard so I had no choice but to wear my glasses. I immediately felt self-conscious as I put them on. They really are very unflattering. I’d considered leaving them at home today, but the trouble is I can’t really function at school without them. I couldn’t wait for my new ones to be ready.
After I’d put them on I noticed Evie turning round to give me an amused look and I felt even more embarrassed. Were my glasses really that bad? In fact, I was a bit taken aback by the amount of amused glances that seemed to be aimed at me this afternoon. Eventually I took off my glasses and stuffed them into my schoolbag.
‘What’s question four?’ I whispered to Anne-Marie.
She gave me a puzzled look as she whispered back, ‘Why have you taken off your glasses?’
‘Everyone’s laughing at them.’
‘I don’t think it’s your glasses they’re laughing at. I think it’s something to do with that letter.’
‘Poppy … Anne-Marie … is there something you wish to share?’ Mr Anderson said sternly.
At that comment, several more people started laughing.
‘ENOUGH!’ Mr Anderson sounded angrier than he usually does when our class gets disruptive, and we all quickly got back to work.
Later, as we were leaving the classroom, Mr Anderson asked me in a quiet voice to wait behind for a minute. For a crazy moment I thought he might be going to make some comment about my glasses too. But instead he waited until the room was empty before asking, ‘Poppy, do you know anything about the letter that was on my desk this morning?’
‘No,’ I replied at once, shaking my head earnestly.
He nodded as he said, ‘OK, then. It doesn’t matter. You can go now.’
I left feeling puzzled. Why was he asking me and nobody else?
Out in the playground Katy and Julia came up to me, both of them sporting big fat grins. ‘So, Poppy,’ Julia began smugly. ‘We didn’t know you had such a mega-crush on Mr Anderson.’
‘What?’
‘Thing is,’ Katy added, ‘we’ve heard he goes for older women, not younger ones, so you probably haven’t got much of a chance.’ They both giggled like they thought they were the funniest double act on earth.
‘Still, I’m sure he was flattered by your letter!’
‘Yeah, Poppy … what did you say in it exactly?’
They both started laughing hysterically again.
‘Leave her alone!’ It was Anne-Marie who rescued me – though I still hadn’t worked out yet exactly what she was rescuing me from. ‘Poppy, just ignore them. It’s obvious you didn’t write that letter.’
‘What are you all talking about?’ I asked as she pulled me away.
‘I just spoke to Evie. She saw that letter Mr Anderson got just now. According to her, you’re the one who wrote it.’
‘What?’
‘She couldn’t read what it said but she saw your name at the bottom. Evie says it reeked of perfume.’
‘I didn’t write it!’ I exclaimed in horror.
‘I know that.’ Anne-Marie frowned. ‘You know, if Sadie was here I’d say it’s just the sort of thing she would do and think was really funny.’
‘Well, she isn’t here.’ I gritted my teeth. ‘I bet it was Katy. Or Julia.’ The two were out of earshot, halfway across the playground walking out of school together.
‘I think it might have been both of them,’ Anne-Marie said. ‘They were both over at Mr Anderson’s desk when I came into class. I was early and they were the only ones there.’
‘I’m going to ask them!’ I announced, hurrying to catch up with them before they disappeared through the main gate.
‘Hey, Julia! Katy!’ I called out sharply as I reached them just outside the school. ‘I want to talk to you!’
As they stopped walking and turned to face me, I said breathlessly, ‘I know you wrote that letter to Mr Anderson!’
‘A love letter, to be ex
act,’ Julia said, smirking. ‘I’m sure you’d blush if you read it – seeing as how you blush so easily.’
‘Yeah,’ Katy added. ‘You know you can get this green make-up to put on your face to help with that. My big sister tried it. It’s supposed to counteract the pinkness or something.’
‘I’m going to tell Mr Anderson it was you,’ I said, making to go back into school. Just talking about blushing is enough to make me start these days and I wanted to get away before it happened.
‘Hey, it’s very rude to turn your back on a person when they’re talking to you,’ Katy called out, giving my hair a sharp tug from behind.
‘OUCH!’
Julia was grinning. ‘You want to watch it or you might find your hair getting accidently chopped off.’
‘Yeah,’ said Katy. ‘All it takes is for someone to bring a pair of scissors into school!’
I glared at them, feeling my adrenalin level rise even though I was fairly sure they were bluffing.
Suddenly I heard a familiar voice behind me. ‘Did you just threaten my cousin?’
It was Sadie. I hadn’t expected her to still be here after her meeting. I couldn’t see Mum, but I guessed she must be somewhere nearby too.
Maybe because of the grim tone of voice Sadie used, or maybe just because of the reputation she had, Julia and Katy immediately stopped grinning.
‘So what’s going on, Poppy?’ Sadie asked me without taking her eyes off either of them.
I quickly told her about the letter.
Sadie glared at the other two. ‘Nobody makes fun of my family.’
‘Sadie, it’s OK,’ I said, trying to calm her down.
‘No, it’s not. What was in that letter, Julia?’
‘It was just a joke,’ Julia started to say, but Katy quickly put her hand in her pocket and pulled out a sheet of paper. ‘Here. This is the first draft. Read it yourself.’
Sadie read it first, then passed it to me.
Dear Mr Anderson (or can I call you Leo?),
I am writing to let you know that I didn’t mean what I said before about your bum being big. I think you have a lovely bum. You are definitely the cutest teacher in our school and you have a totally sexy voice that makes me go all tingly up my spine.